7/8 note: I sound like an ass here.
I hate picking up stranger calls. I don’t want to talk to stranger if I don’t have a reason to. Heck, I don’t even talk to friends and family that much.
I don’t want to spend energy conversing and thinking about conversing. I treasure the moments I connect with another human beings, or just beings in general. I enjoy showing my affection to cats and dogs, and will do that to humans, too. This is why I enjoy story and music. They are mediums to convey emotions in a distilled manner where both sides can think and wrestle with their thoughts on the matter on their own terms. No need to rush.
Maybe language is just an ineffective way to communicate emotion. Too easily, we get sidetrack into talking about something that is none of the matter. People call this small talk. I’m inapt at this and hate it.
My connection to a new friend goes like this: burstling with discussions about life goals and life values, what we want and how we might go about achieving them. At the end of that conversation, I feel like I understand them more. But then that topic comes to an end, and I feel like our conversation could end there. Otherwise it would just be awkward silence or some irrelevant funny remark attempts from either of us.
We all so desperate trying to show to other people, to the one we converse with, and to ourselves that we can have fun with another person. Is this a tribal thing to fake having fun in a tribe?
The fact is, we don’t have to. After learning about a person’s values, view on life, philosophy, everything of lower level of cognition is pretty much irrelevant. In some cases, where people discuss about things, other people, or events, I just see more and more how petty they are.
Am I being too harsh?
Am I wrong?
It’s a way of seeing things that I pulled out of my ass so I can cope better with my way of going about life.
Would this be unhealthy in the long run. I’ll have to either wait and see or dig more on the matter.